About Me

Living life one dream at a time.

Words of the Wise

"What after all is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean."
-Christopher Fry, The Lady's not for Burning

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
-Mary Anne Radmacher

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

-Erica Jong

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel unsure around you...We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us; It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Nelson Mandella, 1994 Inaugural Speech

"Until this moment I had believed forgiveness to be a special virtue, a beneficence God expected of good people. But it wasn't that at all. Forgiveness was an instinct, a desperate impulse to stay connected to the people you needed, no matter what their betrayals."
-Monica Wood, My Only Story

"If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days."
-Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

"The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them—words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried when you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear."
-Stephen King

"Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."
-Neil Gaiman, Sandman: The Kindly Ones

"Being always overavid, I demand from those I love a love equal to mine which, being balanced people, they cannot supply."
-Sylvia Ashton-Warner

"What I need is someone who will make me do what I can."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson


"You know, when you crawl that far down into the abyss, you really shouldn't bring stuff back up with you. Some things are meant to live in the dark. Your blog is like one of those fish with no eyes. Only slightly more disturbing."
Sunday, November 25, 2007

Stephan

Reposted from 1/21/07

Since I was bringing a ton of work home for the weekend anyway, I decided to leave the office a few hours early on Friday to go get my hair cut. I've been trying to grow it out, and it's been driving me crazy the last few weeks. I had to have something done, or I was just going to have to chop it all off.

Generally speaking, I live relatively frugally. But a great stylist is just something I have to splurge on. I love the young girl that does my hair, and the salon where she works is one of those fancy places where you can feel your wallet getting lighter as soon as you walk in the door. I can't help it, though. It's worth it.

So Friday afternoon I walked in to see that they had a new boy there. He greeted me as I sat down, and handed me one of those little black robes that has no purpose but to make you feel like you're in the salon. "Hello, I'm Stephan," he said. Not Steven, not Ste' fen, but Stephaaaaahn.

Wow.

He's got to be about 20, and he has this perfectly messy mop of dark brown hair. But that's not what caught my attention. It was his eyes. Bright, sparkling, unbelievably blue eyes. He is a god in training, this one. As he smiled at me, I shivered.

Everyone who knows me knows that I don't usually care much for younger men. They're not ripe yet, and I get tired just thinking of how long it would take before they really understand what they're doing. But Stephan here, he transcended all of that. I wanted to stand on my toes and kiss him right there in front of the beautiful blonde clientèle. It was so unlike me that it was unnerving.

He took my coat, hung it in the closet, and walked me back to the shampooing area. As I sat down, he reached out and gently brushed the hair from my forehead. He laid a towel across my shoulders, and carefully reclined the chair so that my head was over the sink. Then he smiled again. "I understand Dina is cutting your hair today. Isn't she the best?" he asked. I smiled back with the most charming smile I could muster. "Yes," I said. "She's marvelous."

"Just relax now," Stephan said. "Remember, you're here to be pampered."

How can a boy this young have such charm? I simply must know.

He was humming quietly as he turned the water on. He began his work, rubbing the shampoo into my hair. And then, oh.....and then. He massaged my scalp. Those fingers worked their way through my hair, carefully but firmly pressing, rubbing, and melting me into a puddle right there in the shop. I never knew that the little spot just behind the top of my ear was an erogenous zone. I was stunned. It was as if this man-child was trying to steal my soul...I don't know how long I was there, but it had to have been the longest shampoo of my life. At one point, he asked me, "that's not too hard, is it?" I somehow found a confident voice to reply, "No, this is the best part of my day." He chuckled, a low, knowing sound, and continued.

I am convinced that this boy knows his way around a woman better than 95% of the population of the planet. Just from having his hands in my hair. When he finished, I opened my eyes. He was inches from my face. "You still with me there, beautiful?" I looked, and there it was. That grin, with a hint of a smirk. The intensity in those blue eyes that said he knew exactly what he had just done to me. All I could do was nod.

"Stay here for just a minute," he said. "I'll let Dina know you are ready."

It was good that he left then, because I couldn't have stood if I tried. It only took me a moment to compose myself, and then Dina was there. "Oh, you had Stephan today. Isn't he wonderful?" I laughed, in spite of myself. "Who IS he??" I asked.

"He's Mario's nephew." Mario is the owner of the group of salons. Mario is known throughout the greater Chicagoland area as the king of creating beautiful hair. Mario is a god of sorts, himself. "Rumor is that he's training Stephan to take over when he retires."

Oh. That would be delightful.

"You were over there a long time. He must think you're cute. He spends more time with the ones he likes."

*insert appropriate guttural noise here*

She went on to cut my hair, and we chatted about all of the little gossipy things one chats about while getting their hair cut. Before I left, though, I did something that I never, ever, ever, EVER do.

I walked up to Stephan, I smiled, and laid my hand against his cheek.

Then I turned and walked out, feeling like the most beautiful woman on the planet. It was worth every penny.

0 comments: