About Me

Living life one dream at a time.

Words of the Wise

"What after all is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean."
-Christopher Fry, The Lady's not for Burning

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
-Mary Anne Radmacher

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."

-Erica Jong

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel unsure around you...We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us; It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Nelson Mandella, 1994 Inaugural Speech

"Until this moment I had believed forgiveness to be a special virtue, a beneficence God expected of good people. But it wasn't that at all. Forgiveness was an instinct, a desperate impulse to stay connected to the people you needed, no matter what their betrayals."
-Monica Wood, My Only Story

"If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days."
-Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

"The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them—words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried when you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for the want of a teller but for the want of an understanding ear."
-Stephen King

"Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."
-Neil Gaiman, Sandman: The Kindly Ones

"Being always overavid, I demand from those I love a love equal to mine which, being balanced people, they cannot supply."
-Sylvia Ashton-Warner

"What I need is someone who will make me do what I can."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson


"You know, when you crawl that far down into the abyss, you really shouldn't bring stuff back up with you. Some things are meant to live in the dark. Your blog is like one of those fish with no eyes. Only slightly more disturbing."
Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I can quit any time I want...

For the last week or so, I've been fighting a sore throat. It still hasn't materialized into a full-blown yuck, but I've been a bit crunchy and tired since it began. Yesterday, though, A started to feel as if he'd been hit by a truck. Scratchy throat, body aches, chills, the whole nine yards. I kept him home from school today, and brought him to the doctor just to make sure it's not strep or something equally craptastic.

While we were there, I told our (incredibly hot) doctor the whole story. He asked why I hadn't come in myself, and I explained I didn't feel as bad as A....blah blah blah. He looked at me knowingly, frowned rather sympathetically, and nodded.

At least it looked like sympathy. Maybe empathy. Or understanding.

Yeah, no.

Turns out he thinks I'm a crack whore. Or an alcoholic. Or at least some kind of hopeless addict.

The nice doctor said he was going to prescribe A some cough medicine with codeine, just in case. I thought, "Sweet! Codeine! That's always a good thing to have around the house. You know, just in case."

I picked it up from Walgreens, threw it on the kitchen table, and didn't think of it again until just now. As I was straightening up the house before bed, I grabbed the bottle to bring upstairs. Just out of curiosity, I read the label...and was horrified. I swear to God, it says:

Give "A" 2 teaspoonsful by mouth every 4 to 6 hours as needed for cough. No refills. Do not drink alcoholic beverages while taking this medication.

Yes, his name was in quotes. I'm guessing there was some winking and nudging involved too, but I can't be certain. Suddenly, I'm thinking about pulling an Elaine Benes and demanding to see what he has written on my chart.

Hell, what do I care? I have codeine. See you in January, suckers...
Thursday, December 11, 2008

My heart-shaped, professionally wrapped, strategically placed, Black (except in a recessionary year) Friday-discounted box is two sizes too small.

I really, really, really, hate this soul-numbing season commonly referred to as the holidays. The over-commercialized, plastic-coated, well-lit, synthetic representation of genuine, imitation Christmas-flavored product is enough to give me hives.

I'm sorry. I know that as a human being, I'm not allowed to say that. So maybe today, I'll be a wallaby.

It's not about the gifts. It's not about the decorations, the music, the time off work, or even the cookies.

It's about...

...

...

...yeah.

March to the beat of your own little drummer boy. Have the guts to step away from the crowd and just love the people that matter to you this Christmas.

Not an over-commercialized, plastic-coated, well-lit, synthetic representation of genuine, imitation love, either. Spend the few extra bucks of emotional capital for the real thing, despite the mounting evidence of spiritual recession.

Save the Christmas spirit, one corner of the world at a time.

Hell, I'll even spring for a bigger box.
Monday, December 1, 2008

Cookie Day!

Below is the text of an e-mail I sent to this year's cookie day victims participants. I think it says it all, really...

I just wanted to drop everyone an e-mail and firm up a few details on cookie day. As usual, I'm pretty excited. I can't wait to see all of you!


  • I have sixty two pounds of dough ready to go. There are ten kinds this year -

  • Sugar cookies
  • Spritz
  • Gingerbread men
  • Snickerdoodles
  • Chocolate cinnamon
  • Thumbprints
  • Peanut butter kisses
  • Oatmeal almond blueberry
  • Rum balls
  • Chocolate-chocolate chip
  • I'm taking a vacation day on Friday, and should have a good head start before everyone arrives on Saturday. I plan to have the majority of the sugar cookies and gingerbread men cut and baked Friday. This should lead to an easier process on Saturday, with just the decorating left to be done.
  • Wear sensible shoes. The floor in my kitchen is porcelain tile, and can be hard on your back if you're standing for too long in your socks or shoes that don't have much cushion. Ask Angela. She still has a limp from last year.
  • If you'd like to bring any Christmas music, feel free. We just started listening to mine yesterday as we put up the Christmas tree, and A is already sick of it. He wanted to put on the Frank Sinatra Christmas album. I drew the line. A 'friendly' discussion ensued. (We all love Frank. But have you heard his Christmas album?)
  • I'm making meatball subs for lunch, and they'll be hanging out in the crock pot whenever you get hungry. If you wish to bring anything snacky to accompany them, go ahead. Don't feel obligated, though. It's not as if anyone could possibly starve to death in a room with that many cookies.
  • I'm anticipating 5-7 adults, and 4-5 kids. This means that we'll have plenty of people, and everyone should be able to take breaks as needed. Odds are I won't work you to death this year. Unless that's what you're looking for. Then bring it on.
  • I'll be in the kitchen and working by about 8:00 AM. I fully intend to be finished by 4:00 PM. Feel free to arrive and depart whenever it's convenient for you. The front door will be unlocked, so let yourself in. I may not hear the doorbell over the Frank Sinatra Christmas Album.
  • I have several tins that someone from work threw my way. They aren't the cutest things in the world, but they will do. I also bought a bunch of really cute boxes. You can feel free to just take the tins with you if you'd like, but I would ask that if you want the boxes, you buy them. I still can't believe I couldn't find cute holiday boxes for less than $3-$4 each, but I suppose that expensive crap is the spirit of the season these days.
  • My neighbor is having a surprise birthday party for her husband that same day. I'm hoping parking won't be an issue, but you may have to park down the street a bit. Unfortunately, unlike my aunt Bernie, I can't fit twelve cars in my driveway (inside joke. Sorry.) Just don't block the mailbox, or the mailman will come and personally kick my butt.

If you have any other questions, let me know. Otherwise, I'll plan to see you on Saturday!

Warning

This is another installment of, "Hopefully, when this situation happens to you, you'll have learned through my misfortune and can avoid waking up in a puddle of your own vomit."

Seriously. If you have young sons, don't forget this one. It could save your ______ (insert important thing here).

If your twelve year-old ever (EVER) calls from the other room, "Oh, yuck! That is awesome!"

Run. Don't walk. You don't want to hear the rest of the conversation.

Especially if the next thing out of his mouth is, "Remember when I dropped that trailer hitch on my big toe and it turned purple under the nail? You gotta see this!"