It's all good...

It was getting late as I sat outside on the patio. Finishing my second glass of wine, I closed my eyes and listened to the last of the birds wishing each other good night. The fireflies were out, blinking across the back yard. Everything was peaceful.

Catching up after vacation has been a challenge, and I'd stopped for dinner with friends after work. The quiet moment was blissfully sweet, and much needed. Inside the back door, the cat meowed quietly. I'm watching him while M & A are out of town, and I knew he wished he could come sit with me and feel the breeze in his face. I quieted him with a gentle word, and looked up at the darkening sky.

A single drop of rain fell upon my cheek. I smiled and took another sip of wine.

Gradually, the rain began to fall in earnest. I turned my face upward, and felt the cool drops as they landed. The warmth of the evening made them a welcome gift, and I sat for a long moment simply wishing that life could always be so simple.

Night fell, and the fireflies continued their lazy paths around me, through the falling rain. After a while, I stood to come inside. My wine glass was empty, and the breeze was getting cooler. I lifted the glass to the darkness, and silently thanked mother nature for the brief respite.

Stepping inside, I set my glass on the counter and picked up the cat. He purred happily, and settled in to be petted.

Never forget to take moments for yourself. Life is too beautiful to let it pass you by.

No, tell me what you really think...

As always, our camping trip was delightful. Hours of sitting by the campfire roasting things, lots of wild blueberries (which made for yummy pancakes over the camp stove in the morning), another canoeing trip I'll never forget (I might have to do a separate entry on that one), and all around total relaxation.

On the way home, we stopped at my parents' house for a barbecue. While we were there, my dad proudly announced that I had to take a look at the great DVD he had made of all of the family pictures. He'd categorized them all by person, and set them to music.

I knew this was going to be like watching slides from someone's cruise to Belize, but I humored him. After all, how bad can it be, right? Besides, I know he spent a lot of time putting it together.

So he popped it in, and selected my photos. They started with my wedding, and went on from there. About thirty seconds into it, I scrunched my brows and looked over at him.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"That music. Is that....'Candle in the Wind'?"

"Good catch! I knew you'd like that song."

Hm. My life, in all of its glory, reduced to Elton John in midi format.

"Let's go to A...." I said after a moment.

I hit the menu button, selected A, and pulled him up.

Again, a few seconds in....

"Dad!"

"What?!"

"'Tears in Heaven'? Really?!"

"What?! It's a great song! Alec loves Eric Clapton!"

I looked at A.

"So let me get this straight...I'm a dead drug addict?"

A piped up, "And I'm the dead son of a drug addict! That's perfect!"

My mother, bless her heart, immediately laughed whiskey and coke out of her nose.

"You guys!" my dad huffed. "You have no appreciation for good music!"

He stomped away. I looked at my mother forlornly, and shrugged.

"Aren't you glad you paid for all of those years of music education?"

My mom, still wiping her drink off of her face, simply said, "It could be worse. Your sister is the 'Dancing Queen'".

Get Off!!

It was supposed to be easy.

Don't all tragedies start that way?

But it really, really was. Supposed to be easy, that is. All I wanted to do was pick up some of those new little Off Clip-On Insect Repellent thingies. We're spending four days in the woods. How nice would it be, I thought, to not have to smell like bug spray the whole time? I could just grab us a few of those, and see how they work.

That was two weeks ago. I stopped at Target to grab them on my way home one night, but they were out. Huh, I mused. Must be popular.

The next day at work, I mentioned off-hand to one of my friends that I was relatively eager to try these magical mosquito stoppers. "Oh!" he exclaimed. "My mom is in Florida, and she just picked up a few of those! She said they're amazing!"

Hmph.

Now I really had to get them.

I tried another Target. No luck. I asked the tired-looking old lady with the red shirt and the blue eyeshadow. "Good luck," she groused. "They're flying off the shelves!"

Then I ran to the local Jewel/Osco. They claimed not to have seen any in over a week.

What is there, a conspiracy? How good can these things possibly be?! I mean, really.

Really.

Something told me they were that good. Or more specifically, someone. The teenaged twit at Walgreens this evening, to be more specific. "Oh, man. I wish I'd gotten those while they were here! We can't keep them on the shelves. They're awesome!"

At this point, I gave A a knowing look. He nodded. We were on a mission.

Two more Walgreens and a CVS later, we were still at a loss. Ace hardware, Home Depot. No luck.

I was demoralized. "Maybe.....maybe we should just pick up some Deep Woods Off and be done with it," I sighed.

"No! We can't give up now!" A was vehement. "We're not going home until we find them!"

Pulling out of the parking lot, some cocksucker in a vette cut me off.

"Get out of my way, you stupid cocksucker..." I sneered.

"Mom." A was getting to be a problem.

"What?" I snapped.

"Mouth."

I turned around and gave him the Billy Idol snarl. "Drop it. I'm just calling it as I see it."

A sighed.

Sports Authority, K-Mart. At Menards, they told us that even Johnson & Johnson was out of them. Nobody had them anywhere. We had no chance.

"Hey, how about Wal-Mart?" A asked.

I considered for a moment. If anybody would have them, it would be Wal-Mart, right?

"Okay. But if they don't have any, I'm going home. I'm tired, my feet hurt, and I still have a lot to do tonight before we leave. We've been out shopping for these stupid things for an hour and a half! This is ridiculous!"

Just then, another dickhead cut me off.

"You're a dickhead!" I screamed.

"Mom!"

"Shut up! I ought to run him off the road!"

"That depends. Does he have any Off clip-ons in there?"

I laughed. I hate it when he makes me laugh when I'm really mad. It takes all of the wind out of my belligerent little sails.

So we went to Wal-Mart. In the corner of the store, over by lawn & garden, where they keep the insect repellent, there was....

...an empty shelf where the Off clip-ons used to be.

What? You expected a happy ending?!

I picked up a bottle of Deep Woods Off, two bags of ice, and stomped to the register. A looked at me, smiled a beatific smile, and cooed, "You're so pretty when you're angry!"

I didn't kick him in Wal-Mart, I swear. Neither did I tell him to bite me. Because at that point, I knew I was beaten.

On the way home, I was cut off yet again. From the back seat, under his breath, I heard A mutter, "You stupid jerk."

Maybe I won't feed him to the mosquitoes after all.

We're leaving in the morning for our annual camping trip. Catch you when we get back :)

Yeah, it's like that.

As I was standing outside this afternoon, watering my flowers in the rain with mashed potatoes between my toes, I smiled.

It appears that I've survived the last year (see past wailing and gnashing re: working in the financial sector during this recession), and things are better. For me, at least.

I'm fairly certain that I'm back where I want to be. I may even be stronger than ever.

This makes me happy, like mashed potatoes and rain.

Happy Birthday

Today is my son's thirteenth birthday.

Does it sound like a cliché if I admit that the time has flown by more quickly than I can fathom?

Yesterday, Mark and I took A and his best friend down to US Cellular Field to see the Crosstown Classic - Cubs vs. Sox in all of their collective glory. Halfway through the fifth inning, the boys wandered off to get something to eat, and after about 15 minutes, I was starting to worry. What if they were lost? What if someone robbed them, beat them, took them? What if....?

Mark laughed at me, and pointed out that we hadn't told them when to be back. "They're two teenage boys at the ballpark. Let them be."

Sure enough, they came back, having eaten a couple of hot dogs and explored half of the park. They were glowing - and enjoying a perfect day.

In my mind, they are still little boys. Look at these faces...





They stand on the verge of changing into men, and yet when I look at them, I still see the innocence of childhood. I remember taking A to the blueberry farm, and watching him set aside his little basket to eat as many blueberries as he could directly off of the bushes. I recall him begging to water the garden, and then spraying the hose into the dining room windows, soaking half the house. I see the worried face of a kid who was terrified of taking the training wheels off of his bike, in case he came across an unexpected hill.

This is the boy who still has the god-awful ugly stuffed bear I gave him as a baby, and was recently delighted when my mother sewed a new nose and mouth onto him - so much so that he took a picture with his cell phone and sent it to me.

This is the boy who used to finger paint in the pool, and make up his own words to songs...making me laugh until I fell over.



(I couldn't embed - grr. Click, and then hit 'play')

My little boy. My baby. Now a teenager.

Every day I love him more, and every day he gets a little closer to independence. Little by little, I'm learning to let him be his own little man, no matter how difficult it is to do so.

Happy birthday, little bug, and thank you for being the joy of my life.

So funny. And yet so wrong. Just the way I like it.

From Pictures for Sad Children.

Nothing is as sweet...

...as a hug from a friend who says,

"You feel like home."

I had a wonderful time this past weekend. I'm so very lucky.