It was only a dream...

Sign on the inside of the door of the bathroom stall at the Ogilvie Transportation Center, Chicago...

As if I didn't have enough to worry about while peeing at the train station. What are they going to do, recruit my shoes to join their gang?

My kid rocks, just so you know.

The boy, who is currently a mere 12 years old, just scored a 24 on the ACT test. That's in the 77th percentile of graduating seniors in the state of Illinois.

Please let this mean I'm not going to have to pay for very much when it comes to college....

I'm thinking about sending him out on the street in a suit to see if he can get a job. Maybe he can fix the banking system or something.

...and I spent three days with my hair in pigtails. Need I say more?



We're home and happy, but I'm too tired to remember everything I wanted to write. In the meantime, I uploaded photos.

Heck, even I'm jealous looking at them.

...and hopefully I'll be much nicer when I get back :)

Have a great long weekend. Happy Lincoln/Washington/Darwin and all of that to you!

And my son will never let me forget it.

When I got home from work tonight, A wasn't feeling well - and I didn't feel like cooking. So we popped over to Boston Market for some comfort food. As we pulled into the parking lot, A started to giggle.

"What?" I asked.

"I'll never forget the last time we were here!" he said.

"Huh?"

He laughed even harder. "YOU remember. The woman...?"

Then I remembered.

She was large. And not just large, but like....Large Marge. And she didn't just have camel toe going on. You could hear the camel screaming in agony from a mile away. Her pants looked as if they could 'splode at any second.

Me - "Wow. She's like The Grinch."

A - "Huh?"

Me - "Her pants. They're two sizes...."

*hysterical laughter*

Me - "You think if we gave her some roast beast, it would take care of the problem?"

A - "I think she already tried that. And, well.....FAIL."

*more laughter*

Me - "I am so burning in hell."

A - "I'll send you care packages of roast beast."

For the last month or so, I've often found myself longing for the annual summer camping trip. The peace and quiet, the warmth of the sun, and the complete freedom from the everyday worries are just what I need to bring me back into focus. No phone, no computer, no bills to pay, and no work to do - just the ability to relax and enjoy each moment.

I've also been thinking that this may finally be the year that I take A on the long-awaited trip to Costa Rica - but it's become more and more obvious that right now is not the time for someone in the financial industry to take a $5,000 vacation. Call me crazy, but I figure it's probably best not to spend a ton of money - for all I know, I may not even have a job at this time next year.

So Thursday morning, as I was sitting in my office looking out over the mounds of gray snow that covered the city, I made a realization.

I don't have to go to Costa Rica, but I do have to get away. I need sun. I need warmth. I need a break from the daily suicide watch over our stock price, and I need to stop worrying about what the markets and economy are doing to my psyche (and that of my clients).

I'm not rich by any means, but I have a little bit of money. I can splurge just a little. I can afford....something.

That something is a deal on a Travelocity last minute weekend trip to Puerto Rico. I'm going with P & A, and we're leaving this coming Saturday morning. Three full days and nights in Isla Verde, complete with hammocks on the beach, palm trees, a rain forest tour, and moonlit kayaking through the bioluminescent lagoons.

I will not be bringing my blackberry.

My laptop will be staying home, feeling abandoned.

I will bring my phone, but will only turn it on if I fall into a well and find myself haunted by the ghost of Ponce de Leon.

I am packing two decks of cards, a crossword puzzle book, my camera, and enough sunscreen to prevent A from spontaneously combusting.

I will drink rum.

I will nap on the beach.

I will follow the guys to whatever stupid-ass historical sites they want to visit when I'd rather be drinking rum (hey, I'm a giver.)

I will find a place to sit outside one night and listen to live music under the stars.

I will buy fruit I've never heard of, and wear a very silly straw hat.

I will learn to snorkel, and I will not drown. *

I will swim in a pool beneath a waterfall in the rainforest.

I will get ripped off buying trinkets in the Rio Piedras market.

I will come home sunburned and miserably happy about the fact.

I will fill you in when I get back. **

*hopefully
**I promise