.jpg)
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I can't be the only one...
8:13 PM | 
Posted by
Christine
...that doesn't find this surprising.
It's heartbreaking, but true - I've seen so many dear artistic friends struggle with depression, substance abuse, and mood disorders that it frightens me. Creativity has its price, and I continue to hold those that follow that path in the highest esteem.
Some days I think I'm lucky I survived my years in music. Some of you will remember just how impossible I was back in the days when my life was focused in that direction, and I'm sure will agree that I'm much better off in today's structured setting.
Those of you that are still bringing beauty to the world?
My hat is off to you.
It's heartbreaking, but true - I've seen so many dear artistic friends struggle with depression, substance abuse, and mood disorders that it frightens me. Creativity has its price, and I continue to hold those that follow that path in the highest esteem.
Some days I think I'm lucky I survived my years in music. Some of you will remember just how impossible I was back in the days when my life was focused in that direction, and I'm sure will agree that I'm much better off in today's structured setting.
Those of you that are still bringing beauty to the world?
My hat is off to you.
4 comments:
I guess I think of Proust who said, and I'm paraphrasing, Everything in art we owe to neurotics.
A ton of disparate thoughts, some possibly connected:
*) I believe that a life of creativity means a life of seeing connections that others may or may not, and then being judged on how well you can communicate those connections. In a world where "American Idol" is usually at least 5 of the top 10 television shows in a week, and with more avenues of personal expression than any previous generation, it's not easy to maintain your creative vision without doubting whether or not your vision is all that creative. Most creatives do it for a few years, exhale a healthy "fuck THIS," and get on with their lives. The rest of us sick fuckers say "fuck YOU, Sanjay" and keep at it.
*) I'm sorry for the early and tragic passings of DFW and Sarah Kane and Nick Drake, but for every one of them there's an Eddie Argos or an Italo Calvino or a Dave Brubeck who just show up and play, and keep growing. I buy the correlation; I'm not sure that I'm sold on the causality.
*) There's a middle ground between tortured and not-so, and I believe that it's the Sex and Cash Theory. Mostly, quit thinking that creative work is always gonna be glamorous. Be a skronk-jazz musician, sure, but write some jingles about floor wax as well. Do "Leaving Las Vegas," but also do "The Rock". Quit being a dilettante because the market can't afford one.
*) The music industry has been in shambles for at least 25 years now, since the birth of the CD. US Theater has been dying since the collapse of Broadway to the regional theaters, but YouTube and torrent sites are doing the same to TV and film. This is because the definitions of "success" usually have to do with units sold, ROI R'd. Perhaps the artists need a better, or at least a newer, definition of "success", because it really doesn't fall under their control with this definition.
*) In the early days, we played for God, then the King. Now we're playing for ourselves, and it's not quite as satisfying, is it?
*) I believe that the Myth of the Artist does a lot to perpetuate the drug use; it's very possible to be both grounded and prolific, but then what do you do with the clove cigarettes? Aren't clove cigarettes what creativity is all about, Charlie Brown? We'd do a lot better without the Romantic vision of the artist, but then you'd have to talk about the actual work of an artist, the hard work, and no one wants that. Most folks just want to talk shit and fuck art-school chicks.
*) I believe that self-awareness is a sad and beautiful double-edged sword, regardless of creative output; and that if you spend too much time in your head, you're in big trouble.
*) When I'm in flow, it's better than any drug I've ever taken. The stage is one way for me to get into that state. Games of Risk are another.
*) This weblog brings some beauty into the world as well. As does your singing, and your cooking, and your terrible, terrible jokes. :)
Finally, I can stop being depressed about not being smart enough to create stuff.
Well that's a relief. I'm about as creative as a ...er... uhm...whatever.
P has a point - I always make it a point to tell my composition students that, while you may find composing to be therapeutic, you should never confuse it with actual therapy.
The popular myth of the artist as the tortured soul, waving his long hair about as he composes, every note killing him a little, doesn't help us here; if there are truly connections between creativity and depression, we need to address those, not hide behind "That's what artists do!"
WF